Nurturing a child’s development through athletics – from an athlete’s point of view.
The idea of this blog was inspired by several messages from parent’s asking for advice around helping their child to improve in athletics and cross country. I can sense the passion through these messages and that the positive energy is channelled in the right way to help their kid’s to not only develop into a great athlete but for them to love the sport too. I thought I would just provide a perspective from an athlete who has successfully transitioned from junior athletics into the senior ranks and the environment that facilitated this process.
Taking part in more than one sport
It is essential that the choice for participation in sport is not narrowed down to one option at an early age. When a child moves into secondary education, they are introduced to a plethora of sports in PE lessons in which they will find activities that they will love and hate. If time and economical situations allow, then encourage the child to explore these other activities. Not only will this prevent boredom of competing and training in one sport, it will also boost their fitness in athletics if they are taking part in other sports. For example, at around 14 years of age I played football, participated in karate, played on the school rugby team and trained for athletics (I realise now how lucky I was). This meant I was active every day of the week which was always going to keep me fit. Over time as I matured physically and mentally specialising in one or two sports naturally happened, but it is important to give this choice to the child and not force them to choose the sport you are most interested in. They will put their most commitment and dedication into a sport when they have the autonomy over their participation and do it because they love it.
Not about being the best from a young age
If you have read my previous blogs, you will know that I wasn’t an amazing runner throughout adolescence. Look at current national junior rankings across all distances now and I can guarantee that those in the top 3 will not be even running in senior age groups or everybody else will have caught them up if not surpass them. This could be for a number of reasons but most likely it is because the athlete has either burnt out from training too hard at a young age, or they have lost their motivation because they have been in the sport for too long/ don’t top the rankings any longer. Matthew Shirling was the guy in my age group that topped the UK rankings for years, beating Steve Cram’s U15 1500m UK record. I could only strive to eventually be as good as him in many years ahead. However, after reoccurring injuries, he unfortunately had to retire from the sport before turning 21. I look back now and much prefer to be an average Joe (pun intended) at a young age and be at a decent level where I am now, alongside still competing and improving on a yearly basis. It is vital that success isn’t prioritised at a young age and instead just participation for enjoyment, as cliché as it sounds. Protecting the athlete from relying on success and ensuring they don’t train too hard too soon is the way to make sure they stay in the sport for a long time.
Support in training
Club nights on a Tuesday and Thursday are normally the only days of a week a young athlete will train. As a parent I can’t tell you the difference it makes as an athlete for you just being there watching. It can really encourage a child to push that extra 10% and have more fun knowing that their parent is there interested in what they are doing. I obviously understand that time is a restriction and there are other things that are needed to be done, but if there is any way that you can spare some time to watch a training session then do it because it will create a positive outlook for the athlete knowing their parent is there to support. For those parents who already attend sessions, encouraging words are always helpful but don’t fall into the trap of encouragement turning into the pressure of hitting certain times in training because this will only put the kid off future sessions. Leave this to the coach. When the athlete then chooses to train outside club nights, again, make sure it is up to them. Motivation to get them to go out for a run is great, my mum always used to say ‘Lincoln 10k isn’t going to win itself’ or ‘I can’t do the run for you’ to me and that would usually be suffice for me to get my trainers on and get the run done. Don’t punish the athlete for not going out for a run because that will just make them resent the sport even more.
In competition encouragement
Firstly, do not force a competition on to the child, the athlete should want to compete on their own terms. I remember being forced to run Anglian Schools Cross Country as a kid after waking up that morning not wanting to do it, and I performed awfully as a result and was put off the sport completely. One tiny moment in an adolescent’s development can change their outlook on a sport. Secondly, positive encouragement and constructive advice is important in the race. Words like ‘well done’, ‘relax’, ‘pick up the pace’ ‘you’re looking great’ can go a long way to ensuring the athlete enjoys the performance and can positively impact the result too. Negative comments certainly aren’t going to help the performance and will only have a negative influence on the psychology of the athlete in that environment. I still hear parents shouting at their child who is in his early 20’s with comments like ‘this is rubbish’ and ‘you’re not going to let him beat you again are you’ (which ‘him’ was referencing me and only spurred me on to run harder). The athlete will only resent you for it. I always look at parents who shout at their young kids during races and can’t help but feel embarrassed for the runner, they certainly won’t be taking part in the sport for much longer if a negative association with race day is created and again will only make them resent the sport.
Be there in both success and failure
It is so easy to be joyful and jubilant when your child performs remarkably well, giving them all the admiration and praise they deserve. But it is so much more important to be there for the athlete when things don’t go as well as expected. I always go with the philosophy – you are allowed the rest of the day to sulk and moan after the bad race, but tomorrow is a new day and we go again. It’s vital to give the athlete time to deal with the negative emotions that comes with not succeeding, so they can develop their own coping mechanisms for failure. Saying things like ‘cheer up’ or ‘it is only a race’ are classic lines to fuel a worse reaction. If the individual wants to talk about the race, then engage and always return a negative comment with a positive element of the performance or motivate the athlete to learn from their mistakes. What’s even worse is when the athlete doesn’t perform well, and the parent tells them off for it or ignores them. This negative reinforcement mechanism creates an awful stigma attached to race day and will only increase their nervousness, apprehension and fear of failure on race day which will therefore take away the enjoyment and performances will be even worse. It’s a vicious circle.
Do not live your career through them
This is a classic problem that I have mainly experienced in football. Many parent’s that never ‘made it’ in the sport they loved then try to turn their failure into their kid’s success. This is only a recipe for disaster because subconsciously the parent becomes too emotionally invested in the athlete’s performances and focus’ on what they perceive as success without considering the child’s emotions or goals. They become controlling both in training and in competition which leads to the child feeling they are never good enough when they don’t reach the expectations of the parent. Focus should be purely on the happiness and healthiness of the child, giving them a lot of choice and control in the matter. To add to this, social media has become another layer to the problem. Parent’s often feel status or recognition from friends when their child has achieved success in a sport, and by posting this on social media they get the admiration they crave. The child will cotton on that if a big deal isn’t made on social media then they aren’t good enough, resulting in a decrease in their confidence and motivation.
Concluding remarks
I hope this helped gain an understanding to those parents of athletes into what can facilitate long term sport participation from a young age into adulthood. We are all human so will make mistakes but the main message I am trying to get across is that passion is fine but make sure it is channelled in the right way that will promote a positive experience for the child and not feeding your own ambitions. Be a parent, not a coach – there for support and motivation. I am always happy to help, so feel free to message me if you have any questions or want any advice!
‘’Lincoln 10k isn’t going to win itself’’
